You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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