her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
