my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
