so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
