Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
