he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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