Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
