She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
