Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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