You made me cry and you don't even care
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize