You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
