If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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