You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I've blown a few things in my day
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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