yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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