So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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