I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
