I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
