Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
