I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
