I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
