haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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