I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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