im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
