i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.