your thong is hanging out like whoa
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.