that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.