Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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