I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
