I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Drake has all the answers
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
