Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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