Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
