we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
