they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
