i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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