I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
