Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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