strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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