He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
