Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
