so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
