he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
