:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
