I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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