Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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