I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
