do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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