in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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