He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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