The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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