He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
