I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
