Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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