"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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