just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
