I puked a lego.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
