no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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