If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
