Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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