My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
