If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
