You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
