that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
