I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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