I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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