So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
