would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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