how can u be prego again
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
